Not quite, Rush, not quite...

When I heard the other day that conservative blowhard Rush Limbaugh was hospitalized in Hawaii with chest pains, the jokes came way too easily.

"He had a nasty fall after tripping over his own ego."

"He was on his own personal fact-finding mission to Hawaii, and when he finally saw Obama's birth certificate, he had a heart attack."

No, I didn't wish for his death. I did, however, wish for his doctor to be a gay, black woman who volunteers for Planned Parenthood and ACORN in her spare time. At the very least, I hoped that he might "see the light" and have some kind of revelation about being a decent person, but alas, that never happened.

When Rush was released, he issued this very predictable statement: "The treatment I received here wa$ the be$t that the world ha$ to offer. ... I don't think there'$ one thing wrong with the American health care $y$tem. It i$ working ju$t fine."

You missed the point, Rush. Yes, I agree: America does have some very fine doctors and hospitals and medical technologies ... if you can afford them! The problem with our health care is not necessarily quality of care, but rather access to care.

Apparently, tests showed nothing was wrong with his heart, except, as my friend Mr. Dan pointed out, being 100 sizes too small. Time to let that hate start sitting on your chest again, eh, Rush??

Oh, NOW...

I really think the National Organization for Women should can it with this crap. It only reinforces the idea that feminism is just for upper-class white ladies. You know, I 'get' that a Bo-tax would disproportionately target middle-aged women, but at the same time, Botox is a luxury, not a necessity. And it's only become so popular because of our society's fucked-up ideals about female beauty and aging. By opposing the so-called Bo-tax, NOW is kind of saying it's OK for women to be judged on their physical appearance.

In my opinion, the real effort needs to be in expanding basic gynecological health services and prenatal care to all women (and for that matter, expanding basic healthcare to include EVERY American). Botox is a luxury, but a routine pap smear is a necessity that many women go without because they don't have health coverage.

Furthermore, NOW and other feminists need to push body acceptance. People age, and even in youth, we often don't live up to the unrealistic ideals of female beauty put forth by the media and advertisers. A woman's worth goes far beyond her physical appearance, and real feminists everywhere need to emphasize that. We may never be able to change these whacked ideals, but we can do our best to not be held slaves to these ideals, and to me, that means not giving a damn about the Bo-tax.

And one more thing... If you really want to avoid wrinkles in old age, you would do much better to stay out of the sun and slather on the SPF when you go outside. Protect yourself against skin cancer, too!